Holding Feelings Back
by beyoncefan
Summary: Kaylie and Payson's friendship has gone downhill over the past few weeks. What will happen when Kaylie suspects something going on between Austin and Payson? KayAus. Mostly Paystin
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: That's Your Cue

She was totally crazy about him. After pushing Austin away a thousand times, Kaylie decided it was time to give him a shot, and she wasn't going mess this one up. She was going to make this relationship last. She was determined to. And after what she experienced with Carter, her first love, she wasn't going to let this relationship happen the same way. Nobody was going to stand in the way, and she wasn't gonna let anyone come in between them.

"Hey Kaylie," Payson said in tone that showed that she was holding back as Kaylie walked in the gym in the morning.

"Payson." Kaylie sized her up, then turned back to walk towards Austin.

Payson sighed. "You know Lauren, I don't blame you for always getting yourself into the drama. I mean what's the point of staying out of it if you somehow get into it anyway; no matter how hard you try to not get into it." Payson's tone did not only seem angry, but very hopeless.

Lauren let out a little smirk across her face. "It's nice to kinda be out of the drama for once. I think this is the first time that Kaylie has ever been mad at you. I think it's the first time Kaylie has ever NOT been mad at me…"

"I seriously don't even get it. I give up trying to make amends with her. I don't know why she took the whole thing out of proportion. Lo, I didn't even do anything!" Payson sighed as she thought about what happened three weeks ago from what Kaylie had told Payson what she thought about it. _Nicky had come back to the Rock after previously leaving to "get out of the drama." As soon as Kaylie saw him walk into the doors of the rock, her face lit up. Her prince had finally come back for her, so she thought. To her surprise, the first place he looked was at Payson practicing her beam routine and for a second it looked like he stopped breathing. He smiled while walking up to her. At that moment, Kaylie's world had stopped. Kaylie thought: How could he like Payson again after everything that happened between us before he left? Kaylie brushed off all her thoughts as she looked over to see Payson and Nicky's interaction. As he walked over to Payson, Payson's face read "What are you doing here?" and "I have no idea what to say." He opened his arms waiting for her to give him a big hug, and she did while a skeptical look crossed her face. Two days later, Kaylie decided to talk to Payson about how she felt about Nicky. Payson seemed like she completely understood Kaylie's feeling. Later on that night, Kaylie decided she needed to de-stress herself and stop by Spruce Juice for a smoothie. While seated at a table, alone, to her surprise, Payson and Nicky were laughing drinking their smoothies, having a good time, a few tables away from her. She could not believe her eyes. Was Payson going after Nicky RIGHT AFTER she had informed Payson that she still had feelings for him? The next day, Kaylie gave Payson the cold shoulder all day. Payson was so confused; oblivious to the fact that Kaylie had seen them at Spruce Juice. Payson finally pulled Kaylie aside. Kaylie flat out yelled at Payson, letting out how she left, not even letting her explain that Nicky and her were just catching up on old times, not going on a date. Kaylie just told her to never speak to her again, and that she is dead to her. _

" Did you ever even try to explain to her that you and Nicky were just going as friends?"

"Are you kidding? Like a zillion times. But everytime I bring it up, she just tells me that she does not want to bring it up right now. Lo, It's just driving me crazy, and you know what? Im just tired of all this bull shit."

Lauren giggled. "Lo, do you find this.. amusing?"

"No! No, No, No, Pay. I was just thinking about how she would you react if you and Austin had something going on."

"I wont even dare, unless I want my head to be chopped off."

"Well then you better cut the chit chat you and Austin sometimes have to a minimal." Payson and Austin have become pretty close friends over the past months. They always seem to keep each other level- headed when they talk to each other. But when Payson spots Kaylie she reminds herself to cut off their convo, just incase Kaylie gets the wrong idea. Payson cant take it if Kaylie gets even more mad at her.

"I know. I probably should." Austin spotted Payson and gave her a little head nod, motioning for her to come talk to him.

"Hey, Lo. I gotta go. Talk to you later?"

"Alright, See ya."

Payson walked over to Austin with a small smile on her face. "Morning blondie." Austin greets her with a smirk on his face.

"Blondie? When did that come about?"

"I try to think of new nicknames for you. What do you think about 'Shorty?'"

" Okay, Austin. A) The nickname Blondie is specifically for dumb blondes."

"Right, so I should save that one for Lauren, got it."

Payson rolled her eyes, trying to hold back her laugh. " Anyways… and B) Im not short."

"Austin!" Payson and Austin both turned around to find Kaylie with a hint of anger in her eyes.

"Looks like that's your cue." Austin sighed before walking over to Kaylie with a smile on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Party

Payson woke up from her nap on the sofa in her living room as the door bell rang. She was home alone for 2 weeks because Becca, Mark, and Kim went to go help her grandmother who just had surgery. Payson opened the door only to find Austin Tucker standing there looking annoyed.

"What took you so long?" Austin questioned as he walked in to her house.

"Well Hello to you too!" Payson paused "Austin, you just rang like ten seconds ago. Impatient much?" Payson defended.

"No... the 1st time I rang was like _five minutes_ ago."

Payson thought for a second looking confused. "Oh, sorry I was taking a nap. Must not have heard you."

Austin smirked. "Don't sweat it, Keeler."

As Payson and Austin walked into the living room she asked, "So what are you doing here anyway?"

"Bored out of my mind."

"What about Kaylie?"

"She's having some big family dinner for her dad's birthday." Austin paused. "So, Ms. Keeler what have you been up to on this fine evening?"

"Napping and watching TV."

"Good. Then how would you like to come to a party with me?"

"Uhm… Parties aren't really my thing and you know that"

"Oh come on! I heard Nicky Russo is going to be there!"

"So… why would I care if Nicky was going to be there or not?"

"Don't give me that crap. Isn't he the reason you and Kaylie aren't friends anymore?"

Payson sighed and bit her lip. "I don't want to talk about that, Austin."

Austin scooted over on the couch to get closer to Payson. "Payson look at me." Instead, Payson looked the other way. Austin then turned her face with his finger, so she was looking at him. "You obviously have a lot on your mind because of this whole thing with Kaylie, and your losing your focus. I think a party will help get your mind off things. Consider it."

Before they knew it, their blue eyes were locked on each other, and the only noise left in the house was the sound of cars occasionally passing by from outside. Payson, trying to break off the moment, finally speaks." So uhm, where's this party?"

Austin smiled. "Pick you up at 8." He then got up and left her house.

….

Payson finally got up from the couch after sitting there for 5 minutes thinking about what she just got herself into. Payson has never gotten ready for a party by herself. She knew she couldn't ask Kaylie, and she knew she couldn't ask Lauren because she was probably in Max's bed. This is one of the many times she wishes Emily didn't go spend time with her dad in California for the week. Looks like she will have to try the best she can to remember all the makeup and hair tricks the girls taught her. She looked at her watch, noticing that Austin would be picking her up in less than 2 hours. She had some work to do.

As she walked to her room, she wondered what in the world she was going to wear. She wasn't like Lauren who had a mall in her room. She then remembered that she had a dress that Lauren bought her for her birthday this year. She vowed she would never wear it, so she kept it in the very back of her closet.

She sighed. She might have to break that promise to herself. Payson Keeler was actually going to wear "the skimpiest dress she has ever seen." As she took it out of her closet, she took a deep breath. She pulled out the tight black strapless dress. It was not the fact that it was tight or strapless that made her not want to wear it. It was the fact that it was as short as an oversized t-shirt. Payson reluctantly put on the dress, then added a pair of deep pink high heels. After, she put on her makeup, which was a bit of a challenge. She did the one makeup trick that Lauren taught her. The Smokey Eye. Finally, she curled her hair into loose curls. That all look her about 2 hours. She looked into the mirror, smiling. She was actually kind of proud of herself. She didn't think she could pull it off. She actually looked pretty good.

Before she knew it, the doorbell rang. She then ran downstairs, totally forgetting she had heels on, until she tripped a little bit, but thankfully did not fall. She opened the door, smiling, revealing Austin Tucker. He was turned around talking on the phone with what seemed like Kaylie. He finally ended the phone call, then turned around, smiling. "Hey sorry I was just on the phone with-"His smile then dropped to a shocked face as he looked at Payson all dressed up. "Damn. You clean up nice."

Payson felt her face getting warm and laughed. "Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself! So, you ready?"

"Yep, Shall we, Ms. Keeler?" Austin let out his arm.

"I guess we shall!"

…

As Payson and Austin walked into the party, there were a series of whistles. Payson blushed for the second time that night.

"Looks like you make a statement in here." Austin whispered into Payson's ear.

"I guess so."

Payson quickly walked away from Austin.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go have some fun!"

"Oh, and I'm not fun?"

"I have to go find myself a dance partner, Austin!" Payson yelled trying to talk over the loud music.

"How about me?"

Payson chuckled. "A SINGLE dance partner, Austin!" Patting him on the shoulder.

"Im not a party-person" Austin mocked Payson from their conversation earlier. Payson rolled her eyes. "Oh, Come on. Just dance with me for a little bit."

Payson contemplated it for a little. "Fine. Your lucky a girl like me would give you the time of day!" Payson joked.

"Haha, Very funny. Come on, Keeler, lets go." Austin pulled Payson to the dance floor.

"Don't forget I'm wearing heels!"

…

Austin and Payson had already danced to three songs. "You're a pretty good dancer, Keeler." Austin said while they danced to "Letting Go by Sean Kingston"

"I AM an artistic gymnast… so..." Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice.

"Austin Tucker?"

"Austin turned around while Payson's mouth dropped."  
>"Kaylie?" Austin questioned.<p>

**Author's Note**: Cliff-Hanger! LOL. Review on what you want to happen. By the way, this is my FIRST fanfiction. So if its bad, sorry. Watch out for chapter 3!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Uh oh.

"Austin, what are you doing here?" Kaylie exclaimed.

"I was right about to ask you the same question!" Austin defended. "What ever happened to your dad's 'birthday party,' huh?"

"It ended an hour ago, and I got an invite to this thing, so I figured I'd show up and have a little fun! But I find you here… with Payson!" Kaylie has been trying here hardest to make sure Austin stayed away from Payson, vise versa.

Before Austin could try to explain, Kaylie jumped to conclusions, "We've been together for what? A week and a half, and you are ALREADY cheating on me?"

Payson finally jumped into the conversation. "Kaylie! He was not cheating on-"

Kaylie shot back at her. "You know what? YOU STAY OUT THIS!" Kaylie shouted, as Payson's eyes widened. She has never heard Kaylie shout that loud.

Austin came back into the conversation. "Kaylie. Let me talk for once! I was not cheating on you! In fact, I did nothing wrong! You were at your dad's party thingy and I was extremely bored, so I went to over to my _friend, _Payson's_, _house. She was bored as well, so I asked if she wanted to come to this party with me as _friends._ Nothing more, Kaylie."

Payson, with a worried look on her face, looked at Austin and Kaylie repeatedly wondering what was going to happen next. There was an awkward silence for a minute as Kaylie looked up, as if she was in deep thought, until she broke the silence. "Austin, Im sorry this relationship couldn't last longer-"

Austin interrupted. "Wait. Kaylie what are trying to say?"

"Austin, I'm trying to say that I cant date the 'Bad Boy of Gymnastics.' I need to be able to trust you-"

"Kaylie you can trust me!" Austin said, trying to save their relationship.

"No Austin, I cant. I'm tired of having to worry every five seconds if you're with another girl." There was a pause. " Im sorry Austin, I cant do this anymore."

"Kaylie, come on… don't do this." Austin had a mix of anger and sadness in his eyes.

"And you can thank _her _for this." Kaylie looked at Payson, and then left crying. Kaylie had another wrecked relationship. She thought everything was going pretty well, until jealousy went through her veins. Kaylie was a little bit mad at herself though, she wasn't even sure if he was cheating, but she wasn't about to take the chance, and get hurt again, like Carter hurt her. So, she broke up with Austin just to be sure.

Austin just stood there shocked. He had just been dumped? Yep. _Kaylie just dumped him._

Payson just stood there worried. "Austin, are you okay?"

Austin just plainly shook his head. "Can we just go?"

….

Half of the ride to Payson's house neither Payson nor Austin spoke. Austin, finally spoke. " Has Kaylie always been like this?"

"What? Oh uhm, like what?"

"Not letting you explain yourself, and jumping to accusations?"

Payson looked at Austin and could see he was purely angry with only a hint of sadness. "Well, when I first met her up till like a few weeks ago, she wasn't like that, but ever since our fight, I've noticed that is how she is." Payson explained.

Austin nodded understandingly. "I mean how could she think I was cheating? We were just having fun!"

"In defense of Kaylie, I don't think she wants to get hurt again. After Carter cheated on her, she has just been looking out for herself. She's had a hard time trusting people again. That's why even though she acts like a bitch to me these days, I don't act the same towards her because I know why she's acting that way. Its hard for her not to jump to accusations."

Austin now had a look of pure sadness and a hint of anger, instead of the other way around. "I understand that, but I'm afraid I cant help her with that! I tried by being the best boyfriend in the world. I tried by NOT CHEATING ON HER, Payson." Payson's eyes widened because he suddenly raised his voice. "She has been pushing and pulling me away from day 1! I helped her with her anorexia, for God's sake! Can she give me a break? As much as I try to help her with her problems, I just cant! And I'm afraid I cant help her with this one."

Payson did not know what to say. She knew that he was right. Thankfully, they were at her house. "Just give it time, Austin, maybe she'll come around." Payson said, as she put an encouraging hand on Austin's shoulder. That moment where their eyes met came back again. This time it was more intense. Payson could feel the butterflies in her stomach, but ignored them, as she walked out of the car, giving Austin a quick smile.

"Thanks for the ride."

"No problem. Anytime."

….

The next few days, had been a blur. Austin had spent it thinking about what happened at the party the other night. Both Payson and Austin had been given their fair shares of dirty looks from Kaylie.

At practice a few days later, a familiar face came through the door. Kaylie, Lauren, and Payson let out a sigh of relief. They didn't realize how much they needed Emily around her until now. Kaylie needed someone else to complain to other than Lauren. She also needed someone to talk to who she didnt have anything against. With Lauren, she still has not fully gotten over the Carter situation,but learned to deal with it. Payson needed someone to talk to about the Kaylie situation who was going to give proper advice, and wasn't going to talk about shopping every 10 seconds. Lauren was tired of playing mediator and couldn't handle it by herself.

"EMILY!" All 3 of them yelled at the same time, going up to her and hugging her tightly.

"Woah guys, don't break me. I still have to make it to the Olympics!"

Kaylie , Lauren, and Payson all laughed, but Kaylie stopped laughing when she saw Payson laughing along.

Lauren spoke up. "Well we missed you, _and we needed you too._" Lauren glared at Kaylie and Payson who were both looking down at their feet.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, Its good to be back." Emily broke the silence, and there was another pause. " Uh. I'll be right back. I gotta get changed."

...

Finally, Emily came out of the locker room, going over to Payson who was on the uneven bars. When Payson was finished, she quickly went over to Emily.

Emily let out a little chuckle. "So what did I miss?"

Payson quickly answered. "A lot."

"Alright, spill. What happened?"

"Alright lets stretch and talk, so Sasha doesn't think we are doing nothing."

The two friends/teammates sat down and started to stretch as Payson began her story. "Let me start off with this… Kaylie and Austin broke up."

"WHAT? Wow. Weren't they together for like a week?"

"A week and a half to be exact."

"Geez, that didn't last long."

"Yeah, I know. She went from mad at me to super infuriated with me."

"Why? What happened?"

"So basically Austin came over my house the other day because he was bored, and Kaylie was celebrating her dad's birthday. He saw I was doing nothing, so he invited me over for a party. He said it will help me get my mind off things, which I gotta tell you, did not help at all-" Emily could see Payson was saying this all in one breath.

"Alright Payson, breathe, then continue."

"Okay. So then at the party, we were just dancing and Kaylie was surprisingly there and spotted us. Then she, of course, went straight to jumping to conclusions, saying how Austin was cheating on her, and she did not let anyone else explain, and she broke up with him."

"Wow. Drama!"

"Yeah. As always. So enough about Boulder drama! How was California? How was your dad?"

"Well, California is fine. My dad is still an ass. So nothing new. I missed Boulder, and gymnastics." There was a pause before Emily spoke again. "Payson can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Is there ANYTHING going on between you and Austin?"

Payson had a look of disbelief on her face. "EMILY NO! How could you even ask a question like that?"

"Payson… I was just-"

"You know what? Actually, Emily, I really have to go back to practice. So this conversation is done."

Emily just sat there as Payson got up and left.

….

Later on that day, Payson was at the water cooler. Austin glanced at her, then made his way over to her.

"Keeler, Can we talk?"

"Uh, yeah sure. What's up?"

"Alone?"

"Uhm… well just make it quick because I really want to practice this new routine."

"Yeah, it shouldn't take long." Austin walked away, as Payson followed. He led her to a corner near the locker rooms.

"So you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah about what happened the other night."

"Oh…"

"Payson, I never asked you how you took it."

"What do you mean?"

"Kaylie, was kinda harsh towards you, so-"

"Austin, trust me, I'm used to it."

"But she can't always act like the victim. You did nothing wrong, and it kills me when she acts like that towards you." Payson smiled at this. She didn't know Austin cared for her that much. "Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, and I realized that Kaylie needs help. Help that I cant give her this time, and if she doesn't want anything to do with me, there is nothing I can do about it."

"Austin, I need to apologize." Austin had a confused look on his face. "I feel like this is all my fault."

"Payson, no! This is between Kaylie and I. Don't blame yourself for any of this." Austin said with honesty in his eyes. There again. That moment where there eyes are locked to one another. This time, more intense and passionate than any other time. Before they knew it, their faces were leaning in to each other, as if they were going to kiss.

"Austin no, we cant do this." Payson reluctantly said, as she quickly moved back. "Even though Kaylie and I aren't exactly _friends_ anymore… I don't want to hurt her. I know she still has feelings for you, and you probably still have feelings for her." It took all of Payson's might to walk away from the guy who she was falling in love with, but she did, with tears forming in her eyes.

….

As Emily, went back to training after getting something from her locker, she was so shocked at the scene she just accidently saw between Austin and Payson.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>By the way, I DO NOT own Make it or break it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was kinda long. But all full of juicy drama! Watch out for Chapter 4! What is Emily going to do with what she just saw? Review Please!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Confusion

Emily promised to herself that she would try to get herself out of the Kaylie and Payson drama. Now she is finding herself being stuck in the middle. She knew that there would be tension between the two and there would drama when she got back from California, but she didn't expect it to be this much. She had so many things going in her head. She just asked Payson yesterday if there was anything going on between her and Austin, and she totally freaked out at her. But from the scene she saw yesterday between Payson and Austin, it looked a lot more than friendship. She didn't know what to do. Should she tell Kaylie? If she does tell Kaylie, Payson might get angry at her. But if she doesn't tell Kaylie, Kaylie would be mad at her, too. Should she confide in Lauren? No, Lauren would just make matters worse, she thought. She would probably end up telling the whole gym. Or maybe she should confront Payson about this, and then pretend she saw nothing. Either way, she is still in a lot of trouble.

"Hey Em!" Lauren quickly rushed to Emily when she walked into the Rock in the morning.

"Hey Lo, whats up?"

"Nothing. Want to stretch with me?"

"Yeah sure." Lauren has been especially nice to Emily these past few weeks because they are the ones stuck in the middle of the Kaylie and Payson fight.

"So I heard Sasha increased your DOD yesterday! Congrats, Em!"

"Thanks. I think it's cause Kaylie has been pushing us more than ever, you know cause she the "captain" now."

Lauren had a smirk on her face when she brought up Kaylie. "Speaking of which… have you heard the latest news of the drama?"

"Nope." Emily lied. "Have you?"

"No, but seriously this is getting out of control. Did you hear about what happened at the party?"

"Yeah, Payson told me."

"Honestly though Em, do you think there is anything going on between Payson and Austin."

Emily's heart rate went up when Lauren asked that. She didn't know whether she should tell Lauren what she saw or not. "Uhm, I don't know." There was a pause. Lauren could see she was hiding something.

"What do you know that I don't?"

"What do you mean?"

"Em, tell me. You know something. Don't hide anything from me. We are the two mediators. "

Emily sighed. "Well yesterday, I asked Payson privately if there was anything going on between her and Austin, and liked completely freaked out at me, but she said no, and then just left."

"Hmmm... interesting.. So are you sure that's it?"

"Yep. Positive." Emily lied.

….

_We almost kissed_, Payson thought to herself. _Why didn't I just continue? Why did I pull back? _ couldn't do that to Kaylie, even though her and Austin were broken up.

Payson was doing her floor routine when she saw Emily coming over. She finished it before going over to her.

"Hey Em."

"Payson, I'm-"

"No wait. _I'm sorry_ for freaking out like that yesterday. It's just even though Kaylie and Austin are broken up, and Kaylie and I aren't really friends anymore… I'd never want to hurt her."

"I know. That's why when I saw you and Austin yesterday almost kiss. I wasn't shocked that you pulled back." Emily whispered. Payson pulled Emily into hidden corner of the gym.

"You saw that?"

"Yeah, its been killing me trying to keep it a secret from everyone. But don't worry I haven't told anybody."

"Please don't. We were just... caught in the moment you know?"

"Your falling for him, aren't you."

"What? No, trust me, I'm not." Payson lied.

Emily stared at Payson waiting to hear the truth. "Payson, I'm your friend. You know that you can tell me _anything_. You don't have to keep your feelings to yourself.

Payson took a deep breath then looked at Emily with tears in her eyes. "Emily I'd be lying if I said I wasn't falling for him."

"Payson, have you tried to tell him this before?"

"No, because I figured I can just brush it off, but these damn feelings won't go away."

"Payson," Emily giggled. "That's because you're in love. Those feelings don't just go away overnight."

"Unfortunately."

"Have you talked to him ever since what happened yesterday?"

Payson shook her head 'no.' "I've been avoiding him."

"Payson, you have to talk to him. And a word of advice? Just give it a shot."

Payson chuckled. "Its harder than you think."

"Well, take it from me whose madly in love with somebody. You don't wanna have regrets later on. You don't want to stay up late every night thinking about the 'what if's'."

"But Kaylie..."

"You know you have to stop thinking about Kaylie's feelings all the time. Its obvious she doesn't give a damn about how you feel, so why should you."

There was a pause until Emily spoke up, again. "Think about it, Pay." Emily left to go back to practice while Payson stood there for a couple more minutes before going back to her floor routine.

...

Austin was sitting watching TV alone in his house when he heard a loud knock on the door. The person kept knocking.

"Alright, Im coming!" Austin opened the door to find a drenched Kaylie in the doorway because it was pouring outside. "Kaylie." Austin said with confusion in his voice.

"Austin, can we... talk?"

"Yeah, come in."

"So what are you up to?"

Austin rolled his eyes. "I dont have a girl in the house if that's what you're thinking."

Kaylie's eyes widened. " I-I wasnt actually." There was a pause. "Look Austin, I wanted to talk about what happened at the party."

"About what? About how you didn't let me explain? About how you accused me of cheating?"

"I wanted to apologize. I don't know why I got like that. I guess I have this fear of losing you to someone else who maybe better than me. I guess, what I'm trying to say is. I love you, Austin."

Austin got up from the sofa and went to give Kaylie a hug. "Its alright Kaylie. I forgive you." Kaylie was sobbing at this point.

"I dont want to lose you again. I need you, Austin."

"I'm here for you Kaylie, don't worry."

...

The next day at the Rock was... hectic. Everyone was getting ready for a huge meet next week. All their routines needed to be perfect.

Austin ran up to Payson when she walked into the Rock early in the morning. They were usually the first two there. Some days Austin would come in earlier, some days it would be Payson. Today, it was Austin.

"Pay, hey we need to talk."

"Yeah I know..."

"About what happened- well... _almost_ happened the other day at practice."

"Austin, we were just caught up in the moment. We both weren't ourselves that day. It didn't mean anything."

"I agree! I think we should just forget like it never happened."

Payson faked a smile. "Its a plan."

...

Later on that day was a shock to Payson when she saw Kaylie walking up to her with a slight smile on her face.

"Hey Pay, I gotta talk to you about something."

"Yeah sure Kaylie." said Payson with a smile on her face. This is the first time Kaylie said something to her that was not rude in weeks.

Kaylie made sure no one was watching or could hear them.

"Hey so, uhm, me and Austin are back together now." Payson's jaw slightly dropped.

"Uh, that's great! Im so happy for you two..." Payson didn't know whether she was lying or not. She was trying to get over Austin, but somehow this still hurt her that they were back together.

"Yeah.. well... Look. I know you and Austin are close friends and all, but if Austin and I's relationship is going to work... I need you to do one thing."

"okay.. what?"

"Stay away from Austin, okay? Dont talk to him. Dont call him. Dont text him. Dont go over each other's houses. No contact." Kaylie enforced.

"Excuse me?"

"Is there a problem? You want Austin to be happy, dont you?"

Payson stood there shocked and confused for a second before shaking it off. "Yeah.. but-"

"Then stay away from Austin. Clear?"

Payson didn't know what else to stay. Kaylie is Austin's girlfriend, she has to respect her wishes. "Crystal." Payson faked a smile.

"Great! So we're good right? I wanna put this silly stuff behind us."

"Yep."

"Good." Kaylie walked away leaving Payson clueless and almost in tears.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: I DO NOT own Make it or break it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and watch out for Chapter 5! Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Letting Go

_Stay away from Austin. No contact. Don't you want him to be happy? _All these thoughts kept going through Payson's head as she was thinking about the conversation she had with Kaylie. _Is she retarded?, _Payson thought. What does her being around Austin have anything to do with his happiness? _Maybe this is for the best, though._ Having no contact with Austin maybe will help her get over the feelings she has for him. How was she going to tell Austin this? She treasures her friendship with Austin, and she knows he does, too. Payson decided she is not going to tell anyone about this, especially Emily and Lauren. She doesn't want to add any more drama to her already drama filled life. The Rock should be focusing on the upcoming meet, not all this drama.

Payson started to put all of this pointless drama in the back of her head, and started to focus more on gymnastics, her top priority. She did her beam routine a couple times. Only a few people were at the gym at this time. She started to see Sasha coming up to her.

"Payson!" _Oh crap he looks angry._ "What is wrong with you?"

"Um. What do you mean, Sasha?"

"You seem… out of it." Sasha countered. "What's going on?"

"N-Nothing. I'm just going through some stuff, that's it."

"Well we have a meet coming up, so whatever you're going through, fix it. You need to be levelheaded. Got it?"

"Yes, Sasha." Payson sighed. Payson knew what she had to do. She had to confront Austin. It was the only way she could get this stupid stuff out of her head.

….

Austin was not going to try to lie to himself. He knew he was developing strong feelings for Payson. He hoped that getting back together with Kaylie would take some of the feelings away. So far, no luck. He knew, though, that Kaylie needed him. He liked feeling needed.

Before Austin went into the Rock in the morning, Kaylie rushed to his side.

"Hey babe!" Kaylie said excitedly.

"Someone's happy this morning."

"Hmm... I don't know. It's another day I can do this." Kaylie gave him a short, but passionate kiss.

Austin smiled. "Excited for practice today?"

"I get to see you, right? So of course!" Austin kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I was thinking we could grab lunch later together." Kaylie added.

"Sure, Kay. We need to go inside now, though. Before someone catches us."

…..

Payson needed to do this now. She needed to get Austin alone somehow without Kaylie noticing, but knowing Kaylie, she probably has her eye on the two all the time. Payson took the opportunity to talk to Austin when she saw Kaylie in a deep conversation with Emily.

Austin was on the parallel bars when Payson walked up to him.

"Hey Pay!"

"Hey Austin." Payson said in a gloomy tone.

"Pay, what's wrong?" Austin put him arm around her shoulders. Payson quickly took his arm off her.

"Austin, we need to talk. Like now." Payson grabbed Austin's arm and led him to that same place where they almost kissed before.

"I don't know exactly how to say this, Austin."

There was a long pause before Austin said, "Say… what, Payson?"

"I think it's best if we don't talk anymore, or continue on with our friendship."

Austin looked at her confused and skeptical. "Pay, what are you talking about, what's wrong?"

"I think it's for the best. Our friendship is causing too much drama, and I really need to focus on the meet coming up."

"Is that it? Just because of the meet coming up? That's the reason why we can't be friends anymore?"

"Well… you see.. uhm…" Payson didn't know whether it was best for him to know what Payson and Kaylie had talked about.

"No. Well um. Kaylie said I shouldn't talk to you anymore, or keep any contact with you."

"K-Kaylie? As in Kaylie Cruz, my girlfriend? When did this happen?"

Payson nodded. "Yesterday." Payson said quickly "Look we better get back to practice before Sasha notices we're gone okay?" Payson walked off with tears falling down her face.

"Pay! Wait!" Austin yelled. He sighed. _Why would Kaylie do this?_ Payson is his good friend. There is no way he can just not have any contact with her. _Why didn't Kaylie consult me about this first?_ He has to think of something, and fast.

….

Austin waited untill after the meet to figure out what to do. He couldn't believe any of this was happeneing. Who gave Kaylie the right to say who he could or could not talk to? Two days after the meet, they had off from practice. This was it. He had to do what he had to do.

Austin was scrounging up the courage to knock on the door. After 5 minutes, he finally did.

Payson opened the door looking very confused.

"Austin, what are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

Payson nodded, and let him in.

"Are you uhm hungry or anything?"

"Yeah actually, im starving." There was an awkward silence for a little bit while Payson was looking in the fridge.

"So… where's your family?" Austin said while taking a seat

"They are coming back from visiting my grandmother tomorrow. They stayed a little longer than planned." Payson explained. "Is a sandwich okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."

There was another awkward pause. While Payson was cutting up tomatoes for the sandwich, she looked up at Austin and said. "You know this counts as contact, right?"

"Yes I'm fully aware." Austin said with a smirk.

Payson looked at him with a look of disbelief and frustration. "So then, Austin, what are you doing here? Do you want Kaylie to be even more angry at me, or worse, break up with you?"

"I don't think that's going to be a problem."

"Oh really?" Payson said with sarcasm. "And how can you be so sure?"

"Because I broke up with Kaylie."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: I DONT OWN MAKE IT OR BREAK IT! I hope you enjoyed this Chapter! Review!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Pouring Feelings Out

Payson stood there in silence for what seemed like forever to Austin. Finally, after clearing her throat she spoke up.

"What do you mean you broke up with Kaylie?"

"Uhm… I dumped her, broke it off, cut the relationsh-"

"I know what 'broken up with means'." Payson was silent again leaving Austin wondering what she was going to say.

"Pay, please say something."

"What do you want me to say?" Payson snapped back.

Austin sighed. "I don't know! Something!"

"Fine. Why did you break up with Kaylie?"

"Because she can't tell me who I can or can not talk to. She has no right."

"But she was your girlfriend…"

"But she's not in control of me."

"That's not the reason I came here though." Austin took a deep breath, and looked Payson straight in the eyes. "Do you know why Kaylie wanted us to have no contact?"

Payson was confused. She didn't know why he was asking her this. "Uh… so you can be happy?" Payson looked at Austin skeptically. "Wait, is this a trick question?"

"No, I'm asking what you think."

"To be honest, I have no idea why she wanted us to stay away from each other. If I knew, I wouldn't spend an hour of the time I should be sleeping at night, thinking about this. But maybe it's because ever since the party she's had a hard time trusting us together, even though, like we said, nothing happened."

"Exactly. Look Payson, you're not stupid, I'm not stupid, and most importantly Kaylie isn't stupid. She _knew _that we did nothing wrong that night, but she was afraid of getting hurt again, so she broke things off with me. If she knew that I was cheating, she never would have taken me back."

"Okay… so what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that Kaylie is not stupid. Like I said, she knew I wasn't cheating, but she knew that there was some chemistry between us-" Payson started laughing out of disbelief. "and she was… Wait why are you laughing?"

"Austin, please just stop. Seriously, no, I am not getting deeper into the 'Austin and Kaylie relationship ocean'."

"Payson, you decided to get yourself into that as soon as you decided to become friends with me!" Austin countered.

"Look Payson, do you know why I agreed to get back together with Kaylie?"

Payson shook her head. "I don't know? Cause you have feelings for her? Isn't that always the case?"

"No. When Kaylie broke up with me, I did A LOT of thinking. I realized I have strong feelings for you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship over feelings that could go away overnight. So, when Kaylie and I got back together, I took it as the perfect opportunity to get over you. That didn't work. That day you told me what Kaylie told you, I couldn't sleep that night at all. Not because of disbelief that Kaylie would say that, but because I couldn't imagine staying a day without seeing you, Payson Keeler. I couln't imagine staying a day without seeing the girl I've fallen in love with. "

Was Payson hearing properly? Did she just hear Austin say he's in love with her? _I can't deal with this right now. It's too much._ Payson stood there dumbfounded just staring at him. She then looked away from him because if she looked any longer, she would end up kissing him.

Payson then opened the door, and left her house running to who-know's where.

"PAYSON!" Austin ran after her, the whole half- a-mile, until she finally reached her destination.

Breathing hard, Austin said, "Payson, please, stop!"

"I'm sorry Austin, I don't love you. Just leave me alone, okay?" Payson then turned around and walked home.

With that, Austin stood there about to cry, something he doesn't do often. _She doesn't feel the same way. I'm so stupid. I should have known. I really thought we had a connection. I guess I was wrong. _

…

"Austin!" yelled Emily as he was walking into the Rock right before her.

"Kmetko, Good morning."

"Morning. Hey, I was wondering if you can help me with this new move that I've been working on."

"Yep sure." Emily and Austin have also become good friends, so Emily can tell whenever something is wrong with him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Austin, I can read you like a book, and I'm not stupid. Is this about Kaylie and the break up?"

"No. Its nothing, Kmetko." Austin turned around to enter the gym, but Emily quickly grabbed his arm.

"Austin! You're my friend, and I am not letting you go into that gym without you telling me what's wrong."

"Fine." Austin sighed. _Should I tell her?_ "I dropped the L-bomb on someone yesterday, and she doesn't feel the same way. There. Happy?"

"Wow. Um… who?"

Austin laughed at himself and shook his head. "Payson. I'm so stupid. Why did I even have the slightest feeling that she may actually feel the same way."

Emily laughed. "Because she does!"

"Excuse me?"

Emily nodded. "Austin, she loves you. She told me herself!"

"What? When?"

"The other day, she told me she was falling for you, and I _told her_ to tell you. I guess she didn't …"

"So then... why did she tell me that she didn't feel the same way, and she didn't want to see me again."

"Well… she did say that she didn't want to hurt Kaylie… but I told her that she should stop thinking about Kaylie, who doesn't give a damn about her."

_I can't believe this is happening. Payson actually feels the same way? I need to think of a plan to convince her give me a shot. _

"Alright Kmetko. You said you need me to help you with your new move?" Emily nodded. " Only if you help me with mine, and it doesn't have to do with gymnastics." _This is gonna work. It has to. _

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I DO NOT Own Make it or break it! Anyways, Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter will be about the plan to get Payson! Review Please!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: The Plan

**Author's Note****: Sorry I haven't updated in like forever. I just needed to come up with ideas for this chapter. By the way, this story may seem like I hate Kaylie, but I don't. I just wanted to show a different side of her, other than the "Sweet Kaylie." I also got tired of Lauren always being the bitch, so I thought I'd make her not so mean in this story.**

* * *

><p>Austin and Emily decided to let Lauren in on the plan. Austin was very skeptical about it at first knowing how she could be a blabber mouth, but Emily finally convinced him, stating she's good at this stuff.<p>

"What?" Lauren exclaimed as Austin and Emily let her in on what has been going on. "Why wasn't I told of any of this until now?"

"Because we all know you would tell the whole gym!" Emily countered.

"So… when I asked you a few weeks ago if you heard anything else about this, and you said no…?" Lauren asked.

"I lied." Emily admitted.

"Okay, so you lie to me… and you expect me to help you with your 'plan?'" Lauren put air quotes around the word "plan."

"Look Lauren I'm sorry I lied to you, but-"

Austin cut Emily off, finally speaking up. "But we know how great you are on plotting things out, and we really need your help."

Lauren smiled. "Well… I'm glad you guys finally take me for real." Lauren paused. "Under one condition."

"Shoot it" Austin said.

"You guys can't lie to me anymore. I need you to be 100% honest and fill me in on everything if this thing is going to work. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" Austin joked. Lauren sent him a dangerous glare that made Austin want to run away. "Mam."

"Good! Well then… Lauren Tanner at your service!" Lauren said as she let out her hand to shake.

….

"So… why exactly do we have to go to the gym at midnight? When we should be sleeping?" Payson questioned Lauren and Emily.

"Uhm because you need extra help on your vault!" Lauren explained.

"But my vault is almost perfect…"

"Yeah, but… look... you didn't hear this from us, but Sasha doesn't think so. He asked us to help you." Emily lied.

"Why would he ask you guys? Why not him?"

Lauren and Emily both glared at each other, thinking of what to say. "Because he has a date with Summer." Lauren blurted out.

Payson thought for a second. She wasn't sure what was going on. Their story was a little fishy, and not completely adding up. If it was only Lauren telling her this, she would probably not believe her, but Emily never really lies to her.

"Fine. I guess, if this will help me in the long run…"

"Great! Em and I will pick you up by 11:45."

Payson was contemplating whether she should confirm this with Sasha, but decided not to because there was no point. _This is going to help my gymnastics, so there's nothing to lose._

….

At 11:30 when her mom, dad, and Becca were asleep, Payson quickly changed into her leotard, then put a tracksuit over it.

She was still wondering if this was the right thing to do. If this was some type of practical joke Lauren and Emily were trying to pull, that Sasha actually had no idea about, they could get in trouble if they get caught. Payson was interrupted from her thoughts by her ringtone.

"Pay we're here." Lauren said from the other line.

"Alright I'll be out in a sec." Payson said quietly.

Payson quietly left her house, not wanting to wake any of her family members and went to Lauren's car.

"Hey guys." Payson said as she entered the back seat of Lauren's car.

"Hey Pay." Lauren and Emily simultaneously answered.

"So are you guys sure this is safe and Sasha knows about this?"

"Payson, chill. Everything is fine!" Emily said.

"Alright then, but if we get in trouble, it's your fault."

"I promise we won't." Lauren assured her.

…..

Lauren, Emily, and Payson entered the Rock at exactly 12:01. Lauren was trying to hold back a smile, happy that this was going to work.

"Lauren, what are you smiling about?" Payson questioned.

"Oh, nothing! I was just thinking about Max."

Payson rolled her eyes "You and boys…"

"Funny you say that." Lauren mumbled. Emily let out a chuckle. Payson luckily did not hear what Lauren said.

"What was that?" Payson questioned.

"Nothing." Emily and Lauren said simultaneously said.

"Okay. Let me go change out of my tracksuit. I'll be right back." Payson said.

"You don't need to." A familiar voice said. Payson turned around to find Austin standing right next to the ropes.

Payson looked at Lauren and Emily. "Guys… what's going on here?"

Lauren and Emily just turned around and left the Rock. Payson walked to follow them out, but felt a hand grab hers.

"Payson stop! I'm not going to let you run away this time." Austin said.

"Austin, what the hell is going on here? I'm supposed to be-"

"Payson just hear me out." Austin paused. "Listen, I'm sorry for catching you off guard the other day, but I can't help the way I feel. Payson, I love you so much. And I know you feel the same."

"Wow. Thanks Em." Payson mumbled sarcastically. "That doesn't mean I want us to be together."

"Look, I know you spend your whole life competing. So… maybe it won't be only for gymnastics."

"What do you mean?" Payson asked curiously.

Austin walked back over to the ropes, while Payson just stood there. "Let's compete." Austin smirked. "Whoever can climb up and down the ropes 10 times first will win. If you win, we go our separate ways. But if I win, we give this relationship a shot."

"You can't be serious…"

"Actually, I am. Come on. Afraid you might… lose?"

"I'm aware of reverse psychology, Austin, I'm not gonna fall into your trap." Payson said while grabbing her gym bag off the ground, attempting to leave.

"Payson, what have you got to lose if I do win?" Austin shouted after her.

"Hmm… I don't know how about Kaylie?"

"Alright, last time I checked you already lost her." Austin countered.

"It's still not a good idea." Payson paused. "But, I will do your little competition."

Austin smirked. "What changed your mind?"

"Because Payson Keeler doesn't turn down a battle." Payson said while dropping her bag down on the floor. "One thing though. No cheating."

Austin laughed. "Don't worry Keeler, I don't cheat."

…..

At this point Payson and Austin were neck and neck. They both had a score of 8.

"…9." Austin yelled.

"…9." Payson followed. _I gotta speed up, he cannot win this._

"I got this in the bag!" Austin yelled. Payson did not answer.

They were so close at this point, and this was the final round. They were on their way down when Austin heard "….10!"

Payson smiled as Austin sadly followed "….10."

"Yeah… you totally had that in the bag." Payson said sarcastically.

_She won. She beat me. No shot with her. _"Alright. You win." Austin said, turning around to walk to the door.

Payson's heart was beating faster than ever. "Austin wait!" Payson shouted while running over to him. "Rematch."

Austin smiled as he hugged Payson picking her off the ground, then capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

"I said rematch, not a makeout session!" Payson said while pulling herself out of Austin's arms, before walking over towards the door.

"But that will work, too." Payson said before jumping back into Austin's arms and kissing him more passionate than ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: This is NOT the last chapter, by the way. I don't know how many more to go. Review!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: She Knows

**Author's Note: So I'm going to bring this story to an end … :( BUT I think I'm going to make a sequel! That takes place a few years later. It should be interesting! Sorry I haven't updated in like forever, by the way. I've had field hockey every day this week. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

><p>"Kaylie, you need to get over Austin. Focus on your gymnastics, not boys." Lauren said as Kaylie was staring at Austin while they were at the Rock in the afternoon.<p>

"Wow! This coming from you, Lauren!" Kaylie countered.

"I understand I might be sounding like a hypocrite, but I've considerably changed. I mean I'm still boy-crazed, but I've realized that boys can wait; the Olympics won't."

"I get that, but I think I need closure or something before I can fully focus on my gymnastics again."

"Or something?"

Kaylie sighed. "Lauren, I still want him back."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Kaylie I don't think that's a good idea."

"What do you mean? He loves me, I know it. We just had a fight."

Lauren looked down, but looked up again and smiled when she saw an approaching Emily.

"Emily. Thank goodness." Lauren mumbled.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Lauren doesn't think I should get back together with Austin." Kaylie said.

"Oh my god…" Lauren mumbled in frustration before her and Emily exchanged glances.

"What was that?" Kaylie questioned.

"What was what?" Emily questioned back.

"That look you guys gave each other."

"Let's just drop the whole entire subject, okay?" Lauren suggested.

Kaylie looked at Lauren and Emily skeptically. "No. We will not drop this." Lauren rolled her eyes. "What do you guys know that you're not telling me?"

Emily finally gave up. "Kaylie, you didn't hear this from me." She paused. "Austin and Payson are kind of together now…" Kaylie's eyes widened. _No freaking way._

….

Austin and Payson were casually seated on the couch at his lake house; Payson using Austin's chest as a pillow, and Austin's arm wrapped around her torso.

"I don't think we should tell Kaylie about us just yet." Payson suggested.

"Why not? She's going to find out anyways from people around the gym." Austin argued.

"Exactly. I also think we should keep the PDA to a minimum, especially around the gym. Cause if Sasha finds out... he will go ballistic."

"Alright, I agree. Anything for you I guess." Austin smiled.

Payson smiled back at him. "Thank you."

"So… I'm pretty sure this isn't the gym." Austin observed.

Payson laughed a little. "Oh really? I haven't noticed." Payson said sarcastically.

"Yeah, so I can do this" Austin leaned his head down to meet his lips with hers.

"Yes. Yes, you can." Payson said between kisses.

…..

The next day at the gym was a jungle, with animal fights everywhere.

"Hey Payson. Can we talk?" Kaylie calmly asked as soon as she saw Payson in the gym early in the morning.

"Uh… yeah sure, Kaylie." Kaylie led Payson to a secluded closet at the Rock that looked like it was an old janitor's closet.

There was an awkward silence at first until Kaylie finally spoke. "You know, I feel like we've had this conversation before… Don't you agree?"

"Uhm…. I don't know… what is this conversation about? "

"Oh, yeah that's right! Okay hmm.. let me start off by asking: Why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah! Why did you go after Austin. You know, for a while I actually thought you might be my friend after all. First Nicky, now Austin. So all that time you claimed you and Austin had nothing going on while we were going out, you were actually trying to go after him, just like I thought. All this time, you tried to fool everyone. I wasn't stupid. You tried to act like the perfect gymnast who didn't care about boys or anything else other than gymnastics, but in reality you were and _still _are the slut I always knew you were."

Payson finally snapped. She has tolerated enough of Kaylie. "Kaylie stop!" Payson yelled. People probably must of heard her but she didn't care at the moment. "I have put up with your bull for way too long. I thought it would be Lauren who would finally make me snap, but it's you and you're stupid accusations. Let's get some things straight. For one, Kaylie, let us not forget that Nicky technically was mine first, so if it's anyone who stole anyone there it would be you. But did I act like a drama queen when you did that? Nope. And for the last and final time, I DID NOT go after Austin before, during, or after you two were dating! Infact, he was the one who convinced me to give him a chance, but that was only after you two broke up. And unlike you... I actually love Austin."

"Excuse me? I love Austin…"

"Really? Do you? Because if you 'love' Austin, you would NEVER have pushed him away so quickly when you _clearly knew_ he wasn't cheating on you with me." Payson paused. "Look, Kaylie I'm not stupid either. I know the only reason you were in a relationship with Austin is because you wanted to prove to everyone that you can have a relationship that can last, and use him as sort of a rebound in place of Carter and Nicky."

"Austin was not a rebound."

"You know what Kaylie? I'm done with this. I know you've been having a hard time trusting people since Carter, so that's why I've been giving you a break even after the way you have been acting towards me, but I can't anymore, Kaylie. I'm afraid I can't keep acting as Mr. Nice Guy, and let you trash talk me."

Payson turned around to walk away, until she heard Kaylie's voice speak again in a softer tone. "Payson, wait."

"Payson, look. I'm sorry i've been acting like a total bitch lately.I knew you and Austin did nothing wrong. You were right, it was because of the whole Carter situation. I was afraid that, if I let my guard down, I'd get hurt again." Kaylie paused whipping the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Payson, I can say a thousand sorrys, and you still will never be my friend, again. But what I'm asking I guess is... for you to just forgive me. Please."

Payson looked at Kaylie who was now sobbing. "Kaylie don't cry." Payson said sympathetically. Payson pulled Kaylie into a hug trying to calm her down. "It's okay. I understand. I forgive you, and we can try to be friends again."

"Really?" Kaylie asked.

"Yes. Under one condition though."

"Anything!"

"Don't call me a slut again, Got it?"

Kaylie laughed. "I think that can be arranged."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: So that was the end of _Holding Feelings Back! _Sad right? Don't worry, I think I am going to make a sequel, so look out for it! Hope you guys enjoyed this story! By the way, if I do a sequel, I think it will include Nicky. Let me know of some ideas!


End file.
